Stop Burying Yourself!
How many things did you enjoy doing but stopped because of some reason or other? What did you used to love playing, drawing or singing? Where did you love visiting? How did you enjoy pampering yourself?
We allow the world and all those in it to make us believe that we aren’t number one. We use excuses like “I have too much to do” or “I have a lot of responsibilities” or “I just don’t have the time,” as a way out from actually making ourselves a priority.
You may have been raised to believe that you must make everyone else a priority, that you must live in service of others. To sacrifice your time, effort, money and peace of mind for others. You have been raised to believe that achievement is the only value, that you must make money, must become successful, be famous and to make work a priority. Again, sacrifice your time, effort and peace of mind.
The Price You Have to Pay
What happens when you bury yourself and suffocate the things you love to do? You begin to die a little inside. The more you ignore yourself and your needs, the more you truly feel that you are unworthy and a second-class human. You don’t matter – that is what you’re telling yourself every single day.
When you bury yourself, you step on every talent, hobby or activity that you enjoyed. You step on that child that found wonder and joy in the world. You step on the gifts that God gave you.
Time is precious and the same way you allow yourself to give up time for others you need to give the same to yourself. If you don’t have time for yourself, then you’re never truly present for others, your mind will always be drifting off to the next important task or appointment.
Another price, is the energy you expend. When you’re giving your energy to others and not charging up the battery, you eventually burnout. That same energy you give others, should be directed to you too. You’re just as important. No energy for yourself = no real energy for others.
The Person You Become
As a person who has been periodically burying themselves, you become zombie-like. Listless and dull. Constantly on autopilot. Life is all the same and even the simplest pleasures lose all taste and significance.
You become a person who is switched off, yet constantly dissatisfied and angry. A part of you constantly yearning and desiring for something missing, a voice calling out for something that you cannot do.
Do you find yourself missing the feeling of a pencil on paper, as you sketch out something from nothing? Do you desperately need a spa day and feel the sensation of someone else taking care of you? Is there a voice that’s calling for lands far away?
Now you’re a person you no longer recognise. A person who’s lost their truth and essence and is playing a role in a play you never signed up for.
I’ve encountered this several times in my own life. I’d go through phases when I’d prioritise other aspects of my life, and forget myself in the process. There was a stage when work was my highest priority, I took my work home with me, made sure I got everything done at a 110%, until I got burnt out.
Another time in my life, my relatives took precedent, their happiness, their peace, their lives, were more important than my own wellbeing. It continued until I exploded and ejected them all from my life.
The list goes on. There are consequences to burying yourself. One of the most common consequences is increased chronic stress levels. An area that really impacted me, that I had foolishly buried, was my practice of artistic and creative activities. I had no creative outlet, so my negative energy just piled up, eventually bursting in unhealthy ways.
You face the potential of major health issues, major conflict with others and all round deep depression.
Only you can decide to take this step. If you don’t want to keep living like an undead human, you’re going to need to make that choice.
Thanks to recurring zombie related dreams (I wasn’t watching or reading anything zombie related at the time), I got the message my subconscious was screaming at me, “Wake up! Or else you’ll keep dying inside.”
After finally hearing the message, I made some drastic changes to my life – I started taking art related courses, eventually left my job and allowed myself to finally return to my own self growth and development. I went back to making myself a priority.
You probably won’t need to make super drastic changes, you can start small. Begin with a hobby you used to enjoy. Maybe try taking a couple of hours just for yourself, take yourself out on a date, a spa experience or maybe just read that book you’ve been putting off for years.
You can start by saying no, and forgiving yourself that you can’t be everyone’s super hero. You’re human and are allowed to shut down every now and then. Start expressing your needs, “I want to eat pasta tonight”, “I want to go to the cinema”, “I need some alone time.” Allow yourself that right.
Try learning something new, maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to play music or you’ve wanted to learn a new language. Go for it. You have to make that time for yourself, no one else is going to give it to you.
You need to ask yourself “Am I important enough? Am I worth it?” Are you worth the time, energy and money? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to reset your priorities.
Take Small Steps
Or go big! It’s up to your, respect your pace, but don’t make excuses and stay in your comfort zone. The longer you live in there, the smaller the zone gets. Get out while you still can. Breathe. Live.
Don’t worry about the people in your life. At first, they’ll be surprised and some may think you’re crazy. Maybe one or two may even get angry, but in the end, it’s your life. No one else is living it for you. You don’t need to drop your promises or duties, but you’re making yourself an equal priority (some of you may need to make yourself even more than an equal priority) and anyone who isn’t okay with that, will either adjust and adapt, because they care about you and want to see you smiling too, or they’ll keep fighting you and you’ll need to decide if they’re worth keeping in your life.
You cannot help others without helping yourself. Put yourself first. Like I said before start small. You may even become a role model for others and encourage a healthy lifestyle for those you love and care about.
Start with yourself and the rest will follow. It’ll be hard at first, but you’re worth it!
Let me know what part of yourself that you’ve buried and miss. Share your experiences and how you reconnected with yourself again. Comment below
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