Communication In Love

Lately I’ve been observing the communication of two people I know to be in love. They love each other immensely but they cannot seem to get their communication with each other in check.

They’re not the first nor the last couple I’ll ever see with this issue, it’s a common problem that most couple’s face. However why does it happen and how can it be fixed?


Why the Miscommunication?

How many relationships have you experienced or seen that suffered from miscommunication? This doesn’t just apply to lovers or partners, but even with family and friends.

Someone says something and the other hears it and understands it as something else completely. Each then talking about something totally different from the other. Eventually one realises the other hasn’t understood their original point and BAM, an argument erupts and all hell breaks loose.

One misunderstanding after the next and then eventual break up, separation or worse live with a passive aggressive attitude.

Why does this happen? It’s simple, each person sees, hears and experiences life differently than the other. Each person will hear what they want to hear and see what they want to hear and so on. It’s all because of the filters with which they experience the world. Based on your life experiences, upbringing, traumas, inherited traits etc… you’ll perceive and react differently than someone else.


What Colours Our Perception?

As I mentioned before, every little bit of experience, belief, value and behaviour that influenced you and set roots in your mind, affect your perception of the world and how you react to it.

One person who is focused on how people see him and thinks that everyone should see the world the way he does, “the right way”, will react negatively to anyone who contradicts or challenges his perception. If it’s a sore spot for him and he places high value on his being right all the time, anytime someone proves wrong will probably be subject to attack.

Another person might see herself as a victim, someone who’s always being subjected to abuse and control. Every time someone asks her to do something or to stop something she does, she might see it as an attack on her freedom and her choices. Most likely she will retaliate and claim that the smallest request is a form of control and punishment.

How do you see their argument playing out?

There are plenty of examples, and whether each person is right or wrong is not important, as they’ll both be right when you hear their story. What they both fail to realise is that they’re not actively listening and not putting themselves in each other’s shoes. They allow their past experiences and pains to colour their actions and behaviour.


What Needs to Change?

A lot. But most simply, start by actively listening to one another. Often in fights and arguments, each party is so focused on what they want to say next and how to defend themselves, that they don’t actually hear the other side. If they gave themselves the opportunity to actually listen with an open heart (even if a bit wounded) they’ll be able to hear the other person’s perspective and maybe understand what’s really bothering them.

We all too often allow our emotions to get the better of us. Take control. How many times have you lost yourself to anger, only to say “that wasn’t like me” after you’ve calmed down? It wasn’t “you” exactly, but your ego and shadow combined – a being that comes out to avenge all the pain and suffering you’ve experienced, at often the wrong target.

Imagine a child who was bruised, beaten and abused. One who’s anger, suffering, fear and shame grew year after year, stuck in the dark, with no air to dry out his wounds nor sun or love to heal it. What kind of adult will that child become? Every time someone makes him feel he’s back in that dark place, the inner beast arises and attacks – even if that someone is actually trying to help.

Empathy is vital for good communication. Everyone has their perspective and their pain. The same way you would like to be heard out and understood, you must give the other the same courtesy.

Agree on rules. Agree on what the rules are for your fights, discussions or arguments. Is there a safe word? A word which will allow you to pause the disagreement and go back to the real world for a while? Is there a “no-no” list? A list of words neither of you are allowed to use because it’s demeaning or hurtful to the other.

Whatever rules you come up with, make sure you agree to these very crucial points; open, honest and safe communication. This isn’t just for arguments but in every day communication too.

How can you expect your partner to talk to you honestly and openly about anything if there isn’t a safe space and habit of doing so? How can they guarantee you won’t throw a moment’s weakness back in their face the next time you fight? Or likewise?


The Solution

Sit together, make a rule book and an agreement. Don’t tell each other just what you don’t want but include what you want. Even if it’s a hug or a flower or space for a set amount of time. Get into the habit of practicing, open, honest, respectful and safe communication. Acknowledge each other’s pain and perspective. Use compassion and empathy. And after it all, tell each other how much you value you one another – even if at that very moment you want to throw your partner off a cliff.

Integrate positive communication into your daily routine. In the mornings and throughout the day, share what you’re grateful for in each other and what you love in one another.

And forgive regularly.


Do you have any tips that worked out for you? Maybe some of your own experiences you’d like to share? Tell us about your point of view below in the comments section.


If you’re looking to improve and practice your communication, or want to talk about how to nurture a healthy relationship – Contact Us now for more information.

Stop Burying Yourself!

Stop Burying Yourself!

How many things did you enjoy doing but stopped because of some reason or other? What did you used to love playing, drawing or singing? Where did you love visiting? How did you enjoy pampering yourself?

We allow the world and all those in it to make us believe that we aren’t number one. We use excuses like “I have too much to do” or “I have a lot of responsibilities” or “I just don’t have the time,” as a way out from actually making ourselves a priority.

You may have been raised to believe that you must make everyone else a priority, that you must live in service of others. To sacrifice your time, effort, money and peace of mind for others. You have been raised to believe that achievement is the only value, that you must make money, must become successful, be famous and to make work a priority. Again, sacrifice your time, effort and peace of mind.


The Price You Have to Pay

What happens when you bury yourself and suffocate the things you love to do? You begin to die a little inside. The more you ignore yourself and your needs, the more you truly feel that you are unworthy and a second-class human. You don’t matter – that is what you’re telling yourself every single day.

When you bury yourself, you step on every talent, hobby or activity that you enjoyed. You step on that child that found wonder and joy in the world. You step on the gifts that God gave you.

Time is precious and the same way you allow yourself to give up time for others you need to give the same to yourself. If you don’t have time for yourself, then you’re never truly present for others, your mind will always be drifting off to the next important task or appointment.

Another price, is the energy you expend. When you’re giving your energy to others and not charging up the battery, you eventually burnout. That same energy you give others, should be directed to you too. You’re just as important. No energy for yourself = no real energy for others.


The Person You Become

As a person who has been periodically burying themselves, you become zombie-like. Listless and dull. Constantly on autopilot. Life is all the same and even the simplest pleasures lose all taste and significance.

You become a person who is switched off, yet constantly dissatisfied and angry. A part of you constantly yearning and desiring for something missing, a voice calling out for something that you cannot do.

Do you find yourself missing the feeling of a pencil on paper, as you sketch out something from nothing? Do you desperately need a spa day and feel the sensation of someone else taking care of you? Is there a voice that’s calling for lands far away?

Now you’re a person you no longer recognise. A person who’s lost their truth and essence and is playing a role in a play you never signed up for.



I’ve encountered this several times in my own life. I’d go through phases when I’d prioritise other aspects of my life, and forget myself in the process. There was a stage when work was my highest priority, I took my work home with me, made sure I got everything done at a 110%, until I got burnt out.

Another time in my life, my relatives took precedent, their happiness, their peace, their lives, were more important than my own wellbeing. It continued until I exploded and ejected them all from my life.

The list goes on. There are consequences to burying yourself. One of the most common consequences is increased chronic stress levels. An area that really impacted me, that I had foolishly buried, was my practice of artistic and creative activities. I had no creative outlet, so my negative energy just piled up, eventually bursting in unhealthy ways.

You face the potential of major health issues, major conflict with others and all round deep depression.


Reclaim Yourself

Only you can decide to take this step. If you don’t want to keep living like an undead human, you’re going to need to make that choice.

Thanks to recurring zombie related dreams (I wasn’t watching or reading anything zombie related at the time), I got the message my subconscious was screaming at me, “Wake up! Or else you’ll keep dying inside.”

After finally hearing the message, I made some drastic changes to my life – I started taking art related courses, eventually left my job and allowed myself to finally return to my own self growth and development. I went back to making myself a priority.

You probably won’t need to make super drastic changes, you can start small. Begin with a hobby you used to enjoy. Maybe try taking a couple of hours just for yourself, take yourself out on a date, a spa experience or maybe just read that book you’ve been putting off for years.

You can start by saying no, and forgiving yourself that you can’t be everyone’s super hero. You’re human and are allowed to shut down every now and then. Start expressing your needs, “I want to eat pasta tonight”, “I want to go to the cinema”, “I need some alone time.” Allow yourself that right.

Try learning something new, maybe you’ve always wanted to learn to play music or you’ve wanted to learn a new language. Go for it. You have to make that time for yourself, no one else is going to give it to you.

You need to ask yourself “Am I important enough? Am I worth it?” Are you worth the time, energy and money? If the answer is yes, then it’s time to reset your priorities.


Take Small Steps

Or go big! It’s up to your, respect your pace, but don’t make excuses and stay in your comfort zone. The longer you live in there, the smaller the zone gets. Get out while you still can. Breathe. Live.

Don’t worry about the people in your life. At first, they’ll be surprised and some may think you’re crazy. Maybe one or two may even get angry, but in the end, it’s your life. No one else is living it for you. You don’t need to drop your promises or duties, but you’re making yourself an equal priority (some of you may need to make yourself even more than an equal priority) and anyone who isn’t okay with that, will either adjust and adapt, because they care about you and want to see you smiling too, or they’ll keep fighting you and you’ll need to decide if they’re worth keeping in your life.

You cannot help others without helping yourself. Put yourself first. Like I said before start small. You may even become a role model for others and encourage a healthy lifestyle for those you love and care about.

Start with yourself and the rest will follow. It’ll be hard at first, but you’re worth it!


Let me know what part of yourself that you’ve buried and miss. Share your experiences and how you reconnected with yourself again. Comment below

If you need help to reconnect with yourself and gain some valuable tools and techniques to create the life you want, Contact Us now.

Limiting Labels & Identifications

Limiting Labels and Identifications

We live our lives completely surrounded by labels, brands and classifications. We’re encouraged from our youth to categorise people into neat little columns. Everything has a label that, we either use as a negative or positive form of judgement.

We are tall, short, fat, thin, black, white, Arab, European, cool or uncool. We have categories for everything. The classifications are often used to describe others or things and can be useful, but when we have an emotional attachment to the label that’s where the problem lies.

When we attach ourselves to these labels it becomes a part of our identity (and sometimes our entire identity). If the label changes or is forced away from us we can lose our sense of identity and who we are because we were so attached to the label.

Imagine a girl who has lived her life living under the identity of “Achiever.” She took extreme pride in her ability to achieve and for her it was her sole source of value. She can make things happen. When she faces hardship, and fails at achieving her goals – she loses all sense of herself. She no longer feels she has value and she no longer knows who she is. Her world comes crashing down. She becomes self-identified with “Failure” and no matter how much she tries to stand up again, the identity follows her like a dark rain cloud. She’s limited herself within walls of “Achiever” and “Failure”.

The labels we become attached to hinder us from being who we truly are. We block our potential and our abilities by identifying with limiting labels. We are more than the names we give ourselves. We are everything and nothing.

Everything and nothing:

By everything and nothing, I mean we can take on the attributes or qualities we need, without allowing ourselves to become identified with them. Instead of stuffing ourselves into a box, we can free our lives instead. There are infinite personalities, but when we limit ourselves to a handful of them, we cannot tap into everything else.

If you’re identified as “non-committal” you prevent yourself from ever connecting with something on a deeper level. You use the label as an escape mechanism, preventing you from experiencing the sense of achievement when you see something through to the end.

If you’re identified as “tolerant”, you may prevent yourself from expressing your anger when you reach the threshold of your tolerance, pushing yourself to keep putting your feelings and grievances aside.

We are more than the labels and identities we give ourselves, indescribable by mere human language.

How to identify the identities?

Ask yourself in what areas of your life do you have the most pride and the most shame?

For example – Someone might say “I take pride in my heritage, I am American and no one is better.” Another might say “I’m ashamed that I’m American, we’re all bullies.”
How do you describe yourselves to others? How do you imagine people would describe you?

What labels do you look down on and what do you feel most connected to?

These identities are basically what we now call the Ego, the masks we wear to face the world. The false self that makes us believe that our insecurities, our pride, our fears, our desires etc… are who we truly are.

What happens when I identify the Ego?

You find your weak point, your limitation. Once you identify it, you can then work on releasing it.

“I am not my [insert label here]”

Example, “I am not my national identity”

“I am not my gender”

“I am not my age”

“I am not my family”

Once allowing yourself to acknowledge the existence of the attachment, you can then begin working on healing and releasing it. Forgive yourself for any harsh judgements you may have passed on yourself. Forgive yourself any pain you may have caused yourself or others. Forgive yourself any ideals you couldn’t live up to. You’re human.

What is it like to release the Ego?

You’re no longer attached to the identity or mask, so you no longer feel pain when someone or something threatens or attacks it. For example, a man who isn’t attached to the identity typically associated with being a man, won’t become upset or feel hurt when someone attacks his “manhood.” Words like “sissy”, “weak”, “not a man” won’t affect him, because he’s no longer placing his sense of value on the label “man.”

We become free from our limitations and we allow our true self to shine through.

What else can I do release my limiting identifications?

Seek guidance from someone with experience. Any therapist or coach will be able to guide you to untangle the attachments to any labels or identifications. Wouldn’t life be grand free of restraints? Limitless and expansive.


Contact us if you want to explore your relationship with your Ego further.

Have you had any experiences releasing attachments in past? What were they and how did you work through it? Share your opinions and experiences in the comments section below.

Welcome to NLP!

Welcome to NLP Life Coaching!

A lot of people have been asking me throughout my journey to becoming practitioner “What the hell is NLP?” Frequency increased especially when I published my Facebook page. I realised that there was a lack of awareness about coaching, especially NLP and that’s when I decided I had to do my part in raising awareness – especially here in Cairo, Egypt.

I’ve been plainly explaining to others that it’s like being a psychiatrist except I’m not a doctor and the techniques are a lot more practical. I’m not wrong – that is the simplified explanation however there is so much more to NLP than meets the eye.

NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) is more commonly known among business professionals often as a way to better communicate with customers. A lot of the courses and workshops out there cater to Sales Reps, Marketers and Executives (just to name a few), however there is a deeper side to NLP that is rarely advertised. It can allow you to free yourself from limitations and become the person you truly are inside.

What is NLP?

Neuro-Linguistic Programming is the study of how the brain can be reprogrammed with the use of neurology, psychology, kinesiology and linguistics. The brain, like a computer can be programmed and reprogrammed. The way we see the world and the way we interact with it, is all due to the coding we have accumulated throughout our lives. NLP gives you the tools to change the limiting beliefs, behaviours and values that hold you back and keep you trapped.

How does NLP Life Coaching differ from normal coaching?

Normal coaching or even some kinds of specialised coaching e.g. business coaching, sports coaching, study coaching etc… Focus solely on the Conscious and Logic mind. Most life coaching programmes avoid digging deep into the past or uncovering and working with old wounds. Their techniques and solutions may work for a while, however they do not remedy the source of the issues.

NLP works on a deeper level, in particular through the subconscious and unconscious minds, which is where most of our programming is stored. A lot of our current issues can be traced back to wounds we attained in childhood.

For Example:

Minna grew up distrusting men and whenever she got into a relationship, she would find actions and reasons to feed her suspicions. She believed all men cannot be trusted, that they’re out to hurt her and will always betray her trust. Because of her beliefs and actions, she has pushed away every single man who’s ever tried to get close. She was never betrayed by any of the men she dated, as they never lasted long enough to prove or disprove her beliefs.

Where did her beliefs originate from? She was abandoned by her father. He left her mother to marry another woman and started a new family – never seeing her again. Her source of support and masculinity betrayed her trust – her Inner Child became wounded, carrying a trauma that wouldn’t heal.

In order to protect herself she built walls over the years, each stronger than the last. She left them before they left her. All the while deep down inside, the inner child wasn’t crying because men may betray her, but she believed that she wasn’t good enough, that she was unlovable and unworthy of being loved. After some digging she realised that she had a fear of abandonment and didn’t love herself or see her value.

Her pain lived on and grew with her, adapting and wearing new masks suited for every occasion. She lost the essence of who she really was, and allowed her past experience to dictate her reactions and behaviours in the present.

How can NLP help?

Based on the story above – NLP could help her face and heal the past in order to embrace the present and the future. She would become free of the entanglements, the limiting beliefs, values and behaviour and maybe even forgive her father and essentially herself. She would eventually be able to trust in the world again and most importantly love, value and accept who she is.

NLP can aid in your self development, awareness and healing. Coaching can help you heal old wounds, build a stronger foundation for the future, embrace and accept who you are and help you to better communicate with the world.

Some of the other areas in which NLP can help:

– Dealing and better communicating with family
– Reaching career goals and finding your passion
– Changing your negative opinion and perception of money
– Healing or handling chronic physical pain
– Letting go of bad relationships that still hold you back
– Moving on from grief and loss
– Accepting yourself and your life choices
– Reconnecting with your spirituality
– Forgiving yourself and others
– Reclaiming your life
– Working with creative blocks
– Finding inner peace
– Letting go of fears
– Healing traumas and phobias
– Handling anxiety and panic attacks

And much much more…

What kind of tools do NLP coaches use? 

Each case is unique and the tools we have as coaches allow us to creatively combine and utilise the techniques to better suit your needs.

Some of the techniques we use include:

– Timeline therapy
– Hypnosis
– Meditation
– Trauma healing
– Visualisation techniques
– Framing and reframing
– The wheel of life
– Mercedes model
– Forgiveness pattern

Just to name a few…

Is NLP enough on its own?

For many people NLP is enough to help them affect change, however each person is unique and may need to use several forms of therapy and activities to better heal or grow.

NLP works equally as well as a complimentary therapy and doesn’t hinder any progress or work you may be doing with psychiatrists, psychologists, doctors or even other coaches.

NLP works on utilising the power of your mind to help you for the better and this often means that other healthcare, psychological work or other forms of therapy end up working better and more effectively when NLP is included.

::NLP coaches cannot advise on or prescribe any medications – always consult a doctor when dealing with medication::

You are the master of your actions and reactions. You decide if you want to change and you choose the road you want to travel.

What do you want?

If you’re interested in learning more and trying out a session Contact us now and you can check out our Services here!