/*
 * This theme styles the visual editor to resemble the theme style,
 * specifically font, colors, icons, and column width.
 */




/**
 * Dahlia Dowler functions and definitions
 *
 * @link https://developer.wordpress.org/themes/basics/theme-functions/
 *
 * @package Dahlia_Dowler
 */

if ( ! function_exists( 'dahlia_dowler_setup' ) ) :
	/**
	 * Sets up theme defaults and registers support for various WordPress features.
	 *
	 * Note that this function is hooked into the after_setup_theme hook, which
	 * runs before the init hook. The init hook is too late for some features, such
	 * as indicating support for post thumbnails.
	 */
	function dahlia_dowler_setup() {
		/*
		 * Make theme available for translation.
		 * Translations can be filed in the /languages/ directory.
		 * If you're building a theme based on Dahlia Dowler, use a find and replace
		 * to change 'dahlia-dowler' to the name of your theme in all the template files.
		 */
		load_theme_textdomain( 'dahlia-dowler', get_template_directory() . '/languages' );

		// Add default posts and comments RSS feed links to head.
		add_theme_support( 'automatic-feed-links' );

		/*
		 * Let WordPress manage the document title.
		 * By adding theme support, we declare that this theme does not use a
		 * hard-coded <title> tag in the document head, and expect WordPress to
		 * provide it for us.
		 */
		add_theme_support( 'title-tag' );

		/*
		 * Enable support for Post Thumbnails on posts and pages.
		 *
		 * @link https://developer.wordpress.org/themes/functionality/featured-images-post-thumbnails/
		 */
		add_theme_support( 'post-thumbnails' );

		// This theme uses wp_nav_menu() in one location.
		register_nav_menus( array(
			'mobile_menu' => esc_html__( 'Mobile menu', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
			'primary_left_menu' => esc_html__( 'Primary left menu', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
			'primary_right_menu' => esc_html__( 'Primary right menu', 'dahlia-dowler' ),			
			'footer_left_menu' => esc_html__( 'Footer left menu (Explore)', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
			'footer_centre_menu' => esc_html__( 'Footer centre menu (Sessions)', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
			'footer_right_menu' => esc_html__( 'Footer right menu (Company)', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
		) );

		/*
		 * Switch default core markup for search form, comment form, and comments
		 * to output valid HTML5.
		 */
		add_theme_support( 'html5', array(
			'search-form',
			'comment-form',
			'comment-list',
			'gallery',
			'caption',
		) );

		// Set up the WordPress core custom background feature.
		add_theme_support( 'custom-background', apply_filters( 'dahlia_dowler_custom_background_args', array(
			'default-color' => 'ffffff',
			'default-image' => '',
		) ) );

		// Add theme support for selective refresh for widgets.
		add_theme_support( 'customize-selective-refresh-widgets' );

		/**
		 * Add support for core custom logo.
		 *
		 * @link https://codex.wordpress.org/Theme_Logo
		 */
		add_theme_support( 'custom-logo', array(
			'height'      => 250,
			'width'       => 250,
			'flex-width'  => true,
			'flex-height' => true,
		) );
		
					
		/**
		 * Initialises the latest post shortcode 
		 * 
		 */
	
		function dahlia_dowler_register_shortcodes() {
	
			add_shortcode( 'dahlia-dowler', 'dahlia_dowler_do_shortcodes' );
	
		}
	
		/**
		 * Finds and replaces shortcodes to output the main plugin functionality: a latest posts shortcode.
		 * While this is used by WP's Shortcode API, one can use this on their own manually without do_shortcode().
		 * 
		 * Simply call the function which prints out the content. Optionally you can pass in an associative array
		 * instead of using shortcode attributes.
		 * 
		 * @param   array   $atts           Optional. Shortcode attributes are passed in as an associative array here, e.g:
		 *                                  $atts = array(
		 *                                      "title" => "Latest Posts"   // Optional string, defaults to Latest Posts.
		 *                                      "limit" => 3                // Optional int, defaults to 3 posts.
		 *                                  )
		 * @return  string  $posts_list     Returns the content generated by dahlia_dowler_get_posts() according to the passed in parameters.
		 * 
		 */
	
		function dahlia_dowler_do_shortcodes( $atts ) {
	
			// Get attributes from passed in array if they exist
	
			$limit = ! empty( $atts["limit"] ) ? $atts["limit"] : false;
			$title = ! empty( $atts["title"] ) ? $atts["title"] : false;
	
			// Get the posts and return them
	
			$posts_list = dahlia_dowler_get_posts( $title, $limit );
	
			return $posts_list;
	
		}
	
		dahlia_dowler_register_shortcodes();

		
		/**
		 * The latest posts list is generated here. The returned HTML is put together in PHP because of preference, and since the HTML
		 * generated here is relatively simple, we won't lose out on much of the benefits of HTML colour coding or hinting in your favourite editor.
		 * 
		 * @param   string  $title              Optional string to title the collection of posts, defaults to "Latest Posts".
		 * @param   int     $limit              Optional integer used to limit the number of posts returned, defaults to 3.
		 * @return  string  $posts              The posts are taken from the loop according to any parameters passed in and returned as an HTML string.
		 */

		function dahlia_dowler_get_posts( $title = false, $limit = false ) {

			// If a title was included, use it, or use Latest Posts. This could be stored in a default options function instead.

			$title = ! empty( $title ) ? $title : false;

			// If a number greater than 0 was included, use it, otherwise default to 3. This number could instead be stored in a default options function that can be used in place of user specified options retrieved from get_option()

			$limit = intval( $limit ) > 0 ? intval( $limit ) : 3;

			// Prepare input array for wp_get_recent_posts()

			$args = array( "numberposts" => $limit );

			// Get the posts as an array of objects

			$posts_array = wp_get_recent_posts( $args, "OBJECT" );

			// Start with the post container and the title, then we loop through each post adding markup to the $posts variable

			$posts = "<div class='dahlia-dowler-latest-posts-container flex-row flex-center-center full box-shadow'>";
			if ( $title ) $posts .= "<h5 class='dahlia-dowler-latest-posts-title'>" . $title . "</h5>";

			foreach ( $posts_array as $post ) {

				// Get the permalink for this post, or if for some reason it doesn't exist, the home url

				$permalink = get_permalink( $post ) ? get_permalink( $post ) : home_url();
				
				// Get the posts thumbnail image url and widths and heights if they exist, or use a placeholder from the web at 300x200 pixels which is the default WordPress medium image size

				$post_image   = ! empty( wp_get_attachment_image_src( get_post_thumbnail_id( $post ), "medium" ) ) ? wp_get_attachment_image_src( get_post_thumbnail_id( $post ), "medium" ) : false;
				$image        = ! empty( $post_image ) ? $post_image[0] : "https://via.placeholder.com/300x200";
				$image_width  = ! empty( $post_image ) ? $post_image[1] : 300;
				$image_height = ! empty( $post_image ) ? $post_image[2] : 200;

				// Then for each post object in the post array, we create a subcontainer with the class dahlia-dowler-single-post

				$posts .= "<a href='$permalink' class='dahlia-dowler-latest-posts-single-post' style='background-image:url($image);width:calc( 100% / $limit );'>";

				// Scrim, a dark element allowing text above it to be legible over any imagery underneath

				$posts .= "<div class='scrim flex-row flex-start-end padding'>";

				// We'll start with the title

				$posts .= "<h6>";

				// Now we want to manually truncate the title if it's longer than 50 characters. This is a great candidate for inclusion as a modifiable attribute, or as a settings field. Otherwise, we could do this via CSS or JavaScript, with either being able to easily truncate depending on the number of lines output. 

				$maximum_title_length = 50;

				// If the title length is longer than the maximum length, we truncate it from characters 0 to $maximum_title_length and add three ellipses to the end, otherwise we just use the given title.

				$short_title = strlen( $post->post_title ) > $maximum_title_length ? substr( $post->post_title, 0, $maximum_title_length ) . "..." : $post->post_title;

				// Enter the title and close its tag.

				$posts .= $short_title . "</h6>";

				// Close the content container tag

				$posts .= "</div>";

				// Close the anchor tag

				$posts .= "</a>";

			}

			// Close the widget tag and return the HTML string

			$posts .= "</div>";

			return $posts;

		}
			
	}
endif;
add_action( 'after_setup_theme', 'dahlia_dowler_setup' );

/**
 * Set the content width in pixels, based on the theme's design and stylesheet.
 *
 * Priority 0 to make it available to lower priority callbacks.
 *
 * @global int $content_width
 */
function dahlia_dowler_content_width() {
	// This variable is intended to be overruled from themes.
	// Open WPCS issue: {@link https://github.com/WordPress-Coding-Standards/WordPress-Coding-Standards/issues/1043}.
	// phpcs:ignore WordPress.NamingConventions.PrefixAllGlobals.NonPrefixedVariableFound
	$GLOBALS['content_width'] = apply_filters( 'dahlia_dowler_content_width', 640 );
}
add_action( 'after_setup_theme', 'dahlia_dowler_content_width', 0 );

/**
 * Register widget area.
 *
 * @link https://developer.wordpress.org/themes/functionality/sidebars/#registering-a-sidebar
 */
function dahlia_dowler_widgets_init() {
	register_sidebar( array(
		'name'          => esc_html__( 'Sidebar', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
		'id'            => 'sidebar-1',
		'description'   => esc_html__( 'Add widgets here.', 'dahlia-dowler' ),
		'before_widget' => '<section id="%1$s" class="widget %2$s">',
		'after_widget'  => '</section>',
		'before_title'  => '<h2 class="widget-title">',
		'after_title'   => '</h2>',
	) );
}
add_action( 'widgets_init', 'dahlia_dowler_widgets_init' );

/**
 * Enqueue scripts and styles.
 */
function dahlia_dowler_scripts() {
	wp_enqueue_style( 'dahlia-dowler-style', get_stylesheet_uri() );

	//wp_enqueue_script( 'dahlia-dowler-navigation', get_template_directory_uri() . '/js/navigation.js', array(), '20151215', true );

	wp_enqueue_script( 'dahlia-dowler-script', get_template_directory_uri() . '/js/script.js', array( 'jquery' ), '20151215', true );
	
	wp_enqueue_script( 'dahlia-dowler-skip-link-focus-fix', get_template_directory_uri() . '/js/skip-link-focus-fix.js', array(), '20151215', true );

	if ( is_singular() && comments_open() && get_option( 'thread_comments' ) ) {
		wp_enqueue_script( 'comment-reply' );
	}
}
add_action( 'wp_enqueue_scripts', 'dahlia_dowler_scripts' );

/**
 * Include Advanced Custom Fields (ACF)
 */

require get_template_directory() . '/inc/class-acf.php';

/**
 * Implement the Custom Header feature.
 */
require get_template_directory() . '/inc/custom-header.php';

/**
 * Custom template tags for this theme.
 */
require get_template_directory() . '/inc/template-tags.php';

/**
 * Functions which enhance the theme by hooking into WordPress.
 */
require get_template_directory() . '/inc/template-functions.php';

/**
 * Customizer additions.
 */
require get_template_directory() . '/inc/customizer.php';

/**
 * Load Jetpack compatibility file.
 */
if ( defined( 'JETPACK__VERSION' ) ) {
	require get_template_directory() . '/inc/jetpack.php';
}

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				<div class="title curveb flex-column flex-end-center z8"><div class="full text-center"><h1>Tag: <span>compassion</span></h1></div></div>			</header><!-- .page-header -->

			

<article id="post-280" class="post-multiple card box-shadow full post-280 post type-post status-publish format-standard hentry category-awareness category-love tag-anger tag-arguments tag-awareness tag-coaching tag-communication tag-compassion tag-empathy tag-fighting tag-honest tag-life-coaching tag-love tag-miscommunication tag-misunderstandings tag-nlp tag-open tag-respect tag-safe">
	<header class="entry-header has-meta post-image" style='background-image:url(https://dahliadowler.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/07/scream-small.jpg)'>
		<a href="https://dahliadowler.com/awareness/communication-in-love/" rel="bookmark" class="scrim padding flex-colum flex-start-end"><h2 class="entry-title">Communication In Love</h2></a>	</header><!-- .entry-header -->
	
	<div class="entry-content-multiple flex-row flex-height-stretch">
		<div class='post-preview padding'>		<p>Lately I’ve been observing the communication of two people I know to be in love. They love each other immensely but they cannot seem to get their communication with each other in check.</p>
<p>They’re not the first nor the last couple I’ll ever see with this issue, it’s a common problem that most couple’s face. However why does it happen and how can it be fixed?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4><strong>Why the Miscommunication?</strong></h4>
<p>How many relationships have you experienced or seen that suffered from miscommunication? This doesn’t just apply to lovers or partners, but even with family and friends.</p>
<p>Someone says something and the other hears it and understands it as something else completely. Each then talking about something totally different from the other. Eventually one realises the other hasn’t understood their original point and BAM, an argument erupts and all hell breaks loose.</p>
<p>One misunderstanding after the next and then eventual break up, separation or worse live with a passive aggressive attitude.</p>
<p>Why does this happen? It’s simple, each person sees, hears and experiences life differently than the other. Each person will hear what they want to hear and see what they want to hear and so on. It’s all because of the filters with which they experience the world. Based on your life experiences, upbringing, traumas, inherited traits etc… you’ll perceive and react differently than someone else.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4><strong>What Colours Our Perception?</strong></h4>
<p>As I mentioned before, every little bit of experience, belief, value and behaviour that influenced you and set roots in your mind, affect your perception of the world and how you react to it.</p>
<p>One person who is focused on how people see him and thinks that everyone should see the world the way he does, “the right way”, will react negatively to anyone who contradicts or challenges his perception. If it’s a sore spot for him and he places high value on his being right all the time, anytime someone proves wrong will probably be subject to attack.</p>
<p>Another person might see herself as a victim, someone who’s always being subjected to abuse and control. Every time someone asks her to do something or to stop something she does, she might see it as an attack on her freedom and her choices. Most likely she will retaliate and claim that the smallest request is a form of control and punishment.</p>
<p>How do you see their argument playing out?</p>
<p>There are plenty of examples, and whether each person is right or wrong is not important, as they’ll both be right when you hear their story. What they both fail to realise is that they’re not actively listening and not putting themselves in each other’s shoes. They allow their past experiences and pains to colour their actions and behaviour.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4><strong>What Needs to Change?</strong></h4>
<p>A lot. But most simply, start by actively listening to one another. Often in fights and arguments, each party is so focused on what they want to say next and how to defend themselves, that they don’t actually hear the other side. If they gave themselves the opportunity to actually listen with an open heart (even if a bit wounded) they’ll be able to hear the other person’s perspective and maybe understand what’s really bothering them.</p>
<p>We all too often allow our emotions to get the better of us. Take control. How many times have you lost yourself to anger, only to say “that wasn’t like me” after you’ve calmed down? It wasn’t “you” exactly, but your ego and shadow combined – a being that comes out to avenge all the pain and suffering you’ve experienced, at often the wrong target.</p>
<p>Imagine a child who was bruised, beaten and abused. One who’s anger, suffering, fear and shame grew year after year, stuck in the dark, with no air to dry out his wounds nor sun or love to heal it. What kind of adult will that child become? Every time someone makes him feel he’s back in that dark place, the inner beast arises and attacks – even if that someone is actually trying to help.</p>
<p>Empathy is vital for good communication. Everyone has their perspective and their pain. The same way you would like to be heard out and understood, you must give the other the same courtesy.</p>
<p>Agree on rules. Agree on what the rules are for your fights, discussions or arguments. Is there a safe word? A word which will allow you to pause the disagreement and go back to the real world for a while? Is there a “no-no” list? A list of words neither of you are allowed to use because it’s demeaning or hurtful to the other.</p>
<p>Whatever rules you come up with, make sure you agree to these very crucial points; open, honest and safe communication. This isn’t just for arguments but in every day communication too.</p>
<p>How can you expect your partner to talk to you honestly and openly about anything if there isn’t a safe space and habit of doing so? How can they guarantee you won’t throw a moment’s weakness back in their face the next time you fight? Or likewise?</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<h4><strong>The Solution</strong></h4>
<p>Sit together, make a rule book and an agreement. Don’t tell each other just what you don’t want but include what you want. Even if it’s a hug or a flower or space for a set amount of time. Get into the habit of practicing, open, honest, respectful and safe communication. Acknowledge each other’s pain and perspective. Use compassion and empathy. And after it all, tell each other how much you value you one another – even if at that very moment you want to throw your partner off a cliff.</p>
<p>Integrate positive communication into your daily routine. In the mornings and throughout the day, share what you’re grateful for in each other and what you love in one another.</p>
<p>And forgive regularly.</p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p><em>Do you have any tips that worked out for you? Maybe some of your own experiences you’d like to share? Tell us about your point of view below in the comments section.</em></p>
<p>&nbsp;</p>
<p>If you’re looking to improve and practice your communication, or want to talk about how to nurture a healthy relationship – <a href="http://dahliadowler.com/contact/"><strong>Contact Us</strong></a> now for more information.</p>
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